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Bible Verses - Marriage Roles - Husband & Wife

I think this is a helpful (not comprehensive) list of some of the Biblical roles of husbands and wives and the corresponding Scriptures. 

There is a temptation for someone to use these against your spouse...but the Biblical guidance is to test yourself in your own role.

Matthew 7:3-4 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?"

How does the Bible describe the wife’s role in marriage?
  • Helpmate (Genesis 2:18)
  • Loving and gracious submission to the leadership of her husband (Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18)
  • Not strive or resist the leadership of her husband (Genesis 3:16, 1 Peter 3:1)
  • Respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33)
  • Diligent worker, whether at home or in the worklplace (Proverbs 31)
  • Hospitable towards others and generous towards poor (Proverbs 31)
  • Cares for children and household (Proverb 31)
  • Meet sexual needs of husband (1 Corinthians 7)
  • Be beautiful on the inside (1 Peter 3:4)
 How does the Bible describe the husband’s role in marriage?

  • Spiritual leader ( 1 Corinthians 11:3) towards glorifying God and unity with each other (one flesh)
  • Not dictatorial or harsh (Colossians 3:19)
  • Leading in a sacrificial way the way Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:23)
  • Provide - feed and care (Ephesians 5:29, Genesis 3:17-19)
  • Protect - love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28, 1 Peter 3:7)
  • Praise your wife (Proverbs 31:28)
  • Meet sexual needs of wife (1 Corinthians 7)
  • Be considerate and respect your wife (1 Peter 3:7)

Quote - John MacArthur

"If we are truly born of God, we have a faith that cannot fail to overcome the world (1 John 5:4).  We may sin (1 John 2:1) - we will sin- but the process of sanctification can never stall completely.  God is at work in us (Phil. 2:13), and He will continue to perfect us until the day of Christ (Phil 1:6; 1 Thess. 5:23-24)."  The Gospel According to Jesus by John MacArthur (p. 33)

Why We Should Memorize Scripture - John Piper

I love this short video of John Piper's reasons to memorize Scripture.  It is a helpful reminder and an encouragement for us all to be more diligent in this task!

Memorizing Scripture....
  1. makes meditation possible at times when you can't be reading the Bible and meditation is the pathway to deeper understanding.
  2. strengthens my faith because faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the Word of God and that happens when I am hearing the Word in my head.
  3. shapes the way I view the world by conforming my mind to God's viewpoint on everything.
  4. makes God's Word more readily accessible in overcoming temptation to sin because God's warnings and promises are the way we conquer the deceitful lies of the devil.
  5. guards my mind, making it easier to detect error and the world is filled with error because the god of this worldis a liar.
  6. enables me to hit the devil in the face with a force he cannot resist to protect myself and my family from his assaults.
  7. provides the strongest and sweetest words for ministering to others in need
  8. provides the matrix for fellowship with Jesus because He talks to me through His Word and nowhere else.
HT: Matt Hess & Michael Kelley

Carnal Christianity - B.B. Warfield's Response to Lewis Sperry Chafer

"'It is a grievous error to teach that a true believer in Christ can stop short in 'carnality.'"

"[Lewis Sperry] Chafer's characterization of the carnal man actually 'assigns to the lower class [of Christians] practically all the marks of the unregenerate man.'"

"He who believes in Jesus Christ is under grace, and his whole course, in its process and in its issue alike, is determined by grace, and therefore, having been predestined to be conformed to the image of God's Son, he is surely being conformed to that image, God Himself seeing to it that he is not only called and justified but also glorified.  You may find Christians at every stage of this process, for it is a process through which all must pass; but you will find none who will not in God's own good time and way pass through every stage of it.  There are not two kinds of Christians, although there are Christians at every conceivable stage of advancement..."

quoted from B.B. Warfield's "Review of Chafer" (p.326-327) in Christ the Lord: The Reformation and Lordship Salvation Edited by Michael S.Horton (p.161-162)

Quote - Jerry Bridges

"It is time for us Christians to face up to our responsibility for holiness.  Too often we say we are 'defeated' by this or that sin.  No, we are not defeated; we are simply disobedient!  It might be well if we stopped using the terms 'victory' and 'defeat' to describe our progress in holiness.  Rather we should use the terms 'obedience' and 'disobedience.'  When I say I am defeated by some sin, I am unconsciously slipping out from under my responsibility.  I am saying something outside me has defeated me.  But when I say I am disobedient, that places the responsibility for sin squarely on me..." -The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges (p.84-85) 

Missions Statistic

This is a sad and discouraging statistic, but motivates me towards mobilizing our churches towards greater faithfulness, integrity, and sacrificial giving....
"Less than 6% of global Christian giving goes to support world missions, with outreach, evangelism, and translation work among non-Christians attracting the least money.  'The average church member donating his $2.75 a week, gives out of this only $0.15 to support Christian foreign missions.'  In fact, the annual total amount of church money embezzled is $16 billion, more than the $15 billion spent on foreign missions.'"

The Great Commission: Evangelicals and the History of World Missions edited by Martin Klauber & Scott Manetsch (p.127)

May we be people who demonstrate by our giving and spending that we care more about the unsaved than we do about ourselves.

John Piper - Suffering, God, & Life's Purpose

Here is a short but helpful interview with John Piper at the Third Lausanne Conference on World Evangelization going on in Cape Town, South Africa.  In this interview he addresses the connections between:
  1. Evangelism (alleviating eternal suffering) & Social Action (alleviating temporal suffering)
  2. Theology (thinking about God) & Doxology (affections about God)
  3. Purpose of Life & Idolatrous Joys

Psalm 16:11 "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

John 15:8,11 "This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples...I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

Peacemaking - Apology and Confession

Peacemaker Ministries shares great wisdom (with some humor!) at their blog post today on apology and confession...

I love the 7 A's of Confession...helpful, challenging, and best of all...biblical!

"As God opens your eyes to see how you have sinned against others, he simultaneously offers you a way to find freedom from your past wrongs. It is called confession. Many people have never experienced this freedom because they have never learned how to confess their wrongs honestly and unconditionally. Instead, they use words like these: "I'm sorry if I hurt you." "Let's just forget the past." "I suppose I could have done a better job." "I guess it's not all your fault." These token statements rarely trigger genuine forgiveness and reconciliation. If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs. One way to do this is to use the Seven A's."

1.Address everyone involved (All those whom you affected)
2.Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
3.Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
4.Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5.Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
6.Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7.Ask for forgiveness

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? [4 ] Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? [5 ] You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:3-5 ESV)

"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. [9 ] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:8-9 ESV)

"Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy."  (Proverbs 28:13 ESV)
May we be men and women of God who confess and forsake our sins!

Quote - John Newton

"Their [legalists'] experience seems to lead them to talk of themselves, of the change that is wrought in them, and the much that depends upon their own watchfulness and striving.  We likewise would be thankful if we could perceive a change wrought in us by the power of grace; we desire to be found watching.  But whenever our hopes are most alive, it is less from a view of imperfect beginnings of grace in our hearts than from an apprehension of him who is our all in all.  His person, his love, his sufferings, his intercession, compassion, fulness and faithfulness - these are our delightful themes, which leave us little leisure, when in our best frames, to speak of ourselves." - John Newton

Quote - John Newton

"Satan labours to drive unstable souls from one extreme to another, and has too often succeeded.  Wearied with vain endeavors to keep the law, that they might obtain life by it [legalism], and afterwards taking up with a notion of the Gospel devoid of power [antinomianism], they have at length despised that obedience that is the honour of the Christian, and essentially belongs to his character, and have abused the grace of God to licentiousness.  But we have not so learned Christ." John Newton

God's Call - Pastoral Wisdom on the Ministry Call

John Bisagno – Letters to Timothy - Read Charles Spurgeon’s “How to Know the Call of the Ministry” in Lectures to My Students…summarizes the five main points that influenced him

1. Desire – “There was a time when I was passionate about the music ministry, but simultaneously that passion began to fade and a new passion to preach begins to grow. I wanted it more than anything else, and I knew it to be the call of God. He will put the desire in the sincere heart to do what he wants done…if you can do anything else but preach, by all means, don’t preach. But if the passion burns, then you must preach. If it is your all-consuming, magnificent obsession, then do it.” (34-35)
2. Ability – “This is not to say you will be the greatest orator….God gives us some natural abilities and gifts to do what he wants us to do…If you have the ability to organize your thoughts and express them, let alone some special skills in communication, and this is reinforced with a passion to sue them, then the call of God is indicated.” (35)
3. Opportunity – “Where God leaves us to serve and gifts us to serve, he provides opportunity to serve. Open and closed doors are important in reading the hand of God in our lives…God will open the door for you to do what he wants you to do. A closed door is usually an indication of wrong timing or a detour.” (35)
4. Blessing – “There should be some degree of visible affirmation of your ministry as you pursue it.” (35-36)
5. The Opinion of Others – “Discuss your decision with those in whom you have great spiritual confidence. Ask their advice; seek their counsel. Let them hear your heart, and listen to them.” (36)

“Find God’s tailor-made will for you and do it…Don’t be deterred. If God has called you, God will use you…don’t drift from your call. Better to be on a side street in Calcutta in the will of God than in the White House in Washington, D.C., out of his will. If you’re called to be a servant of the king, don’t stoop to be president. The body of Christ has many parts and many different kinds of folks, and the toes are just as important as the hands.” (38)

Curtis C. Thomas – Practical Wisdom for Pastors: Words of encouragement and counsel for a lifetime of ministry (21)
1. “Does the man reach out for the work?”
2. “Is he qualified biblically?”
3. “Does he possess the gifts necessary to fulfill the functions?”
4. “Do the elders and the church think he is gifted and morally qualified?”
5. “Are his life and doctrine sound?”
6. “Will he live as an example before the flock?”

Charles Spurgeon, Lectures to My Students, “The Call to Ministry”
1. “an intense, all-absorbing desire for the work…this desire must be a thoughtful one…the desire I have spoken of must be thoroughly disinterested…[no] other motive than the glory of God and the good of souls…[a desire] that continues with us, a passion which bears the test of trial” (27-28)
2. “aptness to teach and some measure of the other qualities needful for the office of a public instructor…mere ability to edify, and aptness to teach, is not enough; there must be other talents to complete the pastoral character. Sound judgment and solid experience must instruct you; gentle manners and loving affections must sway you; firmness and courage must be manifest; and tenderness and sympathy must not be lacking…Gifts administrative in ruling well…be fitted to lead, prepared to endure, and able to perservere…read carefully the qualifications of a bishop, given in 1 Tim. iii. 2-7 and in Titus i. 6-9” (28-31)
3. “must see a measure of conversion-work going on under his efforts…if the Lord gives you no zeal for souls…avoid the pulpit as your heart’s peace and your future salvation” (31-32)
4. “your preaching should be acceptable to the people of God…none of you can be pastors without the loving consent of the flock…the sheep will know the God-sent shepherd” (32-33)

John Newton’s letter to a friend on the call to ministry:
1. “A warm and earnest desire to be employed in this service…[not] from a selfish principle…[but] from the Spirit of God”
2. “some competent sufficiency as to gifts, knowledge, and utterance”
3. “a gradual train of circumstances pointing out the means, the time, the place, of actually entering upon the work”

God's Call - Specific Ministry Calls in the Bible

When we think about one's 'call' in Christian ministry, it is important to evaluate it in light of Scripture.  Here are some examples and general truths that might be helpful in considering God's Ministry Call.

Satan – Beware the False Call of Satan
o Adam & Eve – “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" Genesis 3:1
o False Prophets - “Behold, I am against those who prophesy lying dreams, declares the LORD, and who tell them and lead my people astray by their lies and their recklessness, when I did not send them or charge them. So they do not profit this people at all, declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 23:32
o False Teachers – “they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3b,4
o Anti-Christ – “Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son.” 1 John 2:22

Abraham – Step Away from the Familiar when Called
o “Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.” Genesis 12:1

Moses – Don’t Make Excuses when God Calls
o “Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say” Exodus 4:12

Aaron – Don’t Call Yourself
o “No one takes this honor upon himself; he must be called by God, just as Aaron was” Hebrews 5:4

Isaiah – Be Willing to Answer God’s Call without Qualifications
o “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” Isaiah 6:8

Jonah – Don’t Run Away from God’s Call
o “But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish” Jonah 1:3

Jeremiah – Go to Whomever and Speak Whatever God Calls You To Do
o “I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations….Do not say, 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the LORD…Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.’" Jeremiah 1:5-9

Ezekiel – Follow even when God’s Call is Difficult
o “he said to me, ‘Son of man, I send you to the people of Israel, to nations of rebels, who have rebelled against me” Ezekiel 2:3

Disciples Chosen – God’s Call Means He Chose You & Appointed You to Bear Fruit
o “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” John 15:16

Sending of the Twelve – Answer God’s Dangerous Call
o “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town… I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” Matthew 10:14, 16

Peter – Do Not Doubt God’s Call
o “’Lord, if it's you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ’Come,’ he said… Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’“ Matthew 14:28,29a,31

Jesus to the Cross – God’s Call is for God’s Will
o “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” Luke 22:42
o “offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” – Romans 12:1-2

Disciples Sent – God’s Call involves Great Power and Distance
o “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” Acts 1:8

Christ’s Ambassadors – God’s Call is for Us to be Messengers
o “We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20

Paul & Barnabas – Be Willing to Part Godly Company in Order to Follow God’s Will
o “They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.” Acts 15:39,40

Paul – God’s Call Often Involves Unplanned Situations and Unfinished Work
o “23But now that there is no more place for me to work in these regions, and since I have been longing for many years to see you, I plan to do so when I go to Spain.” Romans 15:23,24a

Elder/Shepherd/Pastor/Overseer/Bishop – God’s Call has Standards
o “2Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) 6He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.” 1 Timothy 3:2-7 (also Titus 1:6-9)

Christian Leadership Quotes

"The authority by which the Christian leader leads is not power but love, not force but example, not coercion but reasoned persuasion. Leaders have power, but power is safe only in the hands of those who humble themselves to serve." - John Stott

"The Church is the one institution that exists for those outside it." - William Tyndale

"Truth demands confrontation; loving confrontation, but confrontation nevertheless." -Francis Schaeffer

"It is a contradiction to be a true Christian and not humble." - Richard Baxter

"I believe that in the end the truth will conquer." - John Wycliffe

"The true man of God is heartsick, grieved at the worldliness of the Church...grieved at the toleration of sin in the Church, grieved at the prayerlessness in the Church. He is disturbed that the corporate prayer of the Church no longer pulls down the strongholds of the devil." -Leonard Ravenhill

"Oh, young man, character is worth more than money, character is worth more than anything else in this wide world." - D.L. Moody

"Let us never put confidence in man, or in any sanctity of position, office, or dress. If apostleship did not make Judas a saint, neither will position, office, nor dress make thee a saint." -Johann Ferus

"Once in seven years I burn all my sermons; for it is a shame, if I cannot write better sermons now than I did seven years ago." - John Wesley

"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth..." - C.S. Lewis

"Character is not made in a crisis, it is only exhibited." - Robert Freeman

"A bad man is worse when he pretends to be a saint." - Francis Bacon

"Whatever subject I preach, I do not stop until I reach the Savior, the Lord Jesus, for in Him are all things." - Charles Spurgeon

"With their doctrine they build, and with their lives they destroy." - Augustine

"If you plan to build a tall house of virtues, you must first lay deep foundations of humility." -Augustine

"We are building many splendid churches in this country, but we are not providing leaders to run them. I would rather have a wooden church with a splendid parson than a splendid church with a wooden parson" - Samuel Smith Drury

"What a man says and what a man is must stand together." -Maltbie Davenport Babcock

"The highest and most profitable lesson is the true knowledge and lowly esteem of ourselves." Thomas A' Kempis

"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable." -Johann Wolfgang Goethe

"Truth in humble dress meets with few admirers."  -Edward Stillingfleet

"As a matter of honor, one man owes it to another to manifest the truth." -Thomas Aquinas

"Character is always lost when a high ideal is sacrificied on the altar of conformity and popularity." - Charles Spurgeon

"Wherever we see the Word of God purely preached and heard, there a church of God exists, even if it swarms with many faults." -John Calvin

 "I spent twenty years of my life trying to recruit people out of local churches and into missions structures so that they could be involved in fulfilling God's global mission. Now I have another idea. Let's take God's global mission and put it right in the middle of the local church!"  - George Miley

"Hypocrisy desires to seem good rather than to be so; honesty desires to be good rather than seem so." -Athur Warwick

"the pulpit is never to be the ladder by which ambition is to climb" - Charles Spurgeon

Bible Fellowship ( Sunday School ) Teacher Tips #8 - Information vs. Application

Bible Fellowship ( Sunday School ) Teacher Tips # 8 - Information vs. Application from Jonathan Carl on Vimeo.
James 1:22-25 " 22But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing."

Quote - Athanasius

"The Bible is a book wholly inspired by God from beginning to end."  - Athanasius, 367 A.D.

"God's Open Call" - Ministry and Pastoral Calling

I love Kevin Smith's sermon on "God's Open Call" at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.  This is a tough, cutting, biblical explanation of a minister's call.  It is helpful for anyone in or considering entering into ministry.

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